It happens all the time in heaven,
And some day
It will begin to happen
Again on earth –
That men and women who are married,
And men and men who are
Lovers,
And women and women
Who give each other
Light,
Often will get down on their knees
And while so tenderly
Holding their lover’s hand,
With tears in their eyes,
Will sincerely speak, saying,
‘My dear,
How can I be more loving to you;
How can I be more
Kind?’
Hafiz
I enjoy working with couples and my years of experience has helped me to understand their most common issues. Couples enter relationships with preconceived notions of how that relationship looks but, once out of the chemical mirage of the honeymoon phase, they see their relationships differently. They realize that all those things they tolerated or even thought were cute in the beginning are now annoying, and may even be destructive. They settle into their habitual nature, including their true sex drives, and find their requirements for sex to be, well, let’s say “uneven.” Many mistakenly believe that that sex represents love, and feel rejected when sexual activity diminishes. They believe everything will be better when their partner changes, but until they learn to speak the language their partner understands, little change is made.
I am passionate about empowering couples to learn communication styles that ensure that they finally understand their partners. Clear communication is the first step to re-connection and improved sexual intimacy. Positive change can and does happen, but you must to be willing to move past your desperation to be heard, seen and felt and be willing to hear, see and feel. Like in Hafiz’s poem, you must ask, “My dear, How can I be more loving to you; How can I be more Kind?”
What Common Sexual Concerns Can Sex Coaching Can Help?
- Little or no sex in the relationship
- Aversion to touch
- Conflicts about desire/uneven desire
- Desire to explore consensual non-monogamy, polyamory (crafting contracts with partners for successful relationships)
- Desire for enhanced pleasure skills
- Body image issues
- Desire for improved communication and connection
- Sexual boredom